Thursday, 31 October 2019

A Letter To My Younger Self

Hello Everyone,

Like the title suggests this post is a letter to my younger self, 16 to be exact. I've seen quite a few videos and posts like this and always found what people wanted to tell a past version of themselves quite interesting. 
IMAGE DESCRIPTION: image of the wirds "A letter to my younger self" in dark black capitals on the right, on a cream background. On the left-hand side is some white flowers in a glass vase



So I wanted to give it a go myself but never felt like the timing was write. Then I decided I wanted to get back into the habbit of writing a new post every month, but the ideas I had for some posts were taking a long time to write because they required a bit of research and a lot of information that I wanted to include. Plus it's been a busy month for me so I didn't have time to get everything I wanted to get done in preparation for them. You'll find out more about these topics at a later date. Which is why after reading my friend Khafsa's post I decided now is as good a time as any to write it.  Without further a do here is the letter to Sixteen year old me:

Dear Nanjiba,

I hope your well.

I know it's weird receiving a letter from an older version of you. Both that and the unfamiliarity of being called "Nanjiba" when at the stage you're in right now the people close to you call you "Nanj" or "Nanji" must mean you have a lot of questions. Well I'm afraid I won't be able to answer them, this is a one-way letter sent to you and only you at some point when you're 16 years-old. I'm writing to you because I 've got some advice I need to share, you don't have to listen to it if you don't want to. But I thought you might as well have it in writing, something to look back at later.

First things first I need to remember when and where it is you are. In other words I just need to give myself a little refresher of what you've been up to. Oh and I should probably tell you about where I am right now as I write this. It's only fair right? I should tell you something about your future self at least. So let's see...at 16 you're currently in year 11 at IGS. You've got your GCSEs to do, or have you done them already? Again I have no idea when you'll get this lettrr. You've also applied for sixth form, have an idea of the subjects you'll do and feel as if the year has gone by really quickly. Oh and you've had the year 11 charity event, I think you raised money for Gaza? A sleepover and leaving assembly too. I think you also finished writing your story Jinx Charm on Wattpad as well? Now that I think about it there's a lot you've done!

As for me (,or the future you depends on how you look at it), I'm 22. Yes an adult version of yourself is talking to you right now! Time travel is complicated I know. I currently have a job at the RNIB as a Project Assistant, the charity you've heard of but don't know much about...yet. I've graduated from university and know what career I want to go into. From your point of view it must look like I've got it all figured out. In all honesty I'm still learning as I go, being an adult is harder than it looks and you never really know what you're doing. I've been figuring it out as I go. Don't worry I'm still writing, not stories but I have a blog! 

Alright so we've caught up to where each of us is in our lives right now. So I guess thw next step is to give you my words of wisdom? Yes I actually have something useful you might want to hear. Knowing how stubborn you are you may choose to ignore me, but you'll come around...eventually. From what I remember you have a habit of being hard on yourself and that's putting it mildly. Yes I am talking about those times where you used to cry out of anger in class because you couldn't understand the topic you were learning and felt like everyone else already got it, you were the only one behind and you weren't getting it no matter how many questions you asked. Plus you felt like you were holding the class back. You also hate crying in front of people which did not help this situation at all. The good news is you no longer do that. One way for you to stop right then and there is to remember that it's okay to not understand something everyone else grasped within minutes. It's fine to need more time. There's a reason you get double the time as everyone else in your exams and special equipment like a PDF copy of your book in text where you can search for the quote you want and copy and paste it. See there are some perks to this! I know it's not easy but don't punish yourself so much, or at all. You're an overthinker and keeping it all bottled in will only make it worse. Talk to someone about how you feel, a fried or even api. I know you've recently had your heart to heart but she'll have some advice for you. You don't have to do it now, but at some point at least because it's better late then never.

For you the next stages in life is going to sixth form, doing A-Levels, going to University, graduating with a degree and get a job after. Well I can tell you that you will go through those stages but not everything will go according to plan. I know you're trying to go with the flow but also think you should have a plan for the future. Right now I can tell you that, where you see yourself by the time you're my age is different to how you thought it would all happen. Everything happens for a reason. At sixth form you'll make some new friends and enjoy your time there. It's also a great time to get out of your shell, you find your voice and become more confident. As for university, you enjoy your degree, do well and the universe experience is different from what you imagined. For one your friends are older than you. I won't spoil anything else, I'll leave you to experience it all when the time comes. Don't worry even though you aren't the best at keeping in contact with people, you do message some classmates from time to time, follow them on social media and you and your twin still keep in touch. She doesn't know about this letter, hence why I'm not using her name on a public platform

The final topic I want to talk about is your relationship with your visual impairment. Yes I know you've had it your whole life and use certain software, have a support worker etc. That's great, but over the years you'll learn that your disability doesn't define you. Through some mobility training with Rosie you learn to be more independent, confident and learn to adapt to any situation. Oh and there are a few cooking lessons and conversations about the white cane within all that. Alongside that Rosie helps you get in touch with the visually impaired people you know and before you know it you've been introduced to this other world of people with sight loss. It's also a reason behind your blog and the work you do. There's so much more I could tell you about this but I think it's best if you stay open minded to what this all means and learn by doing. Eventually you'll learn that you're able to do the same things as sighted people.

On a final note you'll continue to learn that this life we have is temporary, everything happens for a reason and is Allah (SWT) will. You'll then be ready to make a decision you didn't think you'd ever make, at least not at the age I am right now. I think that's all the advice I have for you. I hope you enjoyed this letter. Remember to be kind to yourself, talk to people if you need to and just do your best.

Love from,

Nanjiba Misbah (aged 22)

P.S. you did get the name fixed don't worry.

That's all I've got for this post. What do you think? If you could get in touch with your younger self, then what would you tell them? Let me know in the comments down below. 

1 comment:

  1. A beautifully written letter - I really enjoyed reading it.

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